Confessions and my big WHY

Sam Tench / Photo blogs / / 1 Comment

Today it’s confession time! BIG TIME! I’m about to reveal an expensive secret that I have hidden in my home closets. All will be revealed shortly. It’s a world-first. You might consider the announcement as shocking and irresponsible, or outrageously funny, or you might conclude that I have lost my mind. And you might be right.

Where do I start? I’ve been sitting on this secret for a long time, but I became aware of it only last week on an uncomfortably warm day. You might re-label this secret as a ‘problem’. I have no problem with that; frankly, it’s getting out of hand, and I may require serious intervention.

Back to my story. On this warm day, I was on a mission to prepare and organize our clan of elves ready to make an appearance soon. As I worked the day away, busily rediscovering the elf bits and bobs I have at my disposal (it’s impossible to remember what I have) and marvelling at my new additions for the crazy month of elf antics that lay ahead, something suddenly hit me. “This can’t be right,” kept going through my mind as I looked exhaustingly around the room. “These tubs can’t all possibly belong to the elves?” But sure enough, as I opened up each tub, I realized that yes, these tubs not only belonged to the elves, they were also full to the brim. As I worked my way around the room, I discovered other pieces, that could not fit into a tub, strategically hidden around the room! Oops!

When did all this elf stuff happen?  What was I thinking?  Maybe I wasn’t, can I blame ED? Reality hit home. You could say I got slapped in the face by reality. In a state of confusion, exhaustion and disbelief, I couldn’t believe the enormity of what I was seeing.

It dawned on me that I may have a slight problem.  Standing alone in this room-sized wardrobe, I couldn’t believe that the tubs that are taking up too many shelves of storage, are all my own doing. Perhaps most disturbingly, the tubs don’t include the latest purchases which form a mountain-sized mound covered in blankets in a corner of the room. The truth was obvious. I have a problem with online shopping. But wait! I don’t online shop for just anything, I don’t online shop to indulge; it’s not about me. My problem with shopping is for our pesky little elves!

I shudder to think how much money has been spent on our elf friends; let’s agree it’s ’a lot’ and leave it there. Funnily enough, this reminds me of my mum and her tendency to buy clothes online. She buys a lot and has them delivered to my house to hide her spending habits from my dad!  Only, in my case, there’s no hiding the reality about the elves; the shopping can’t be shoved to the back of the closet and forgotten. Not a chance, it’s everywhere! How my children have not noticed it, is beyond me!

Right then, no more buying elf stuff. No more looking at elf accessories that tug on my emotions, creativity and give me a sense of internal giggling as soon as I Iay eyes on them. Wait a minute! I just bought more items! There goes that idea already. Who am I kidding? I’m addicted to shopping for elf props, and as long as my girls enjoy the elves, I can’t see anything changing.

Do you think I’m kidding? I’m not!

You are probably thinking that I am exaggerating. I’m not. Every year, around October, I begin my annual hunt for new accessories (okay, I probably don’t need them). For instance, one item I’ve purchased this year needs to be assembled, but I haven’t a clue what it’s supposed to be. It must have been an excellent purchase and something my elves desperately need (I’ll let you know what it is when it’s constructed). As an enthusiastic creator of elf scenes, I know the best elf shopping sites; they probably know me too, that’s the kind of customer I am; reliable and willing to buy; even when I don’t know what I’m buying.

I’m also a creator

Now before we go on, it’s essential to acknowledge that my stash of accessories doesn’t exclusively include items that are purchased. I’ve become somewhat handy (although, never ask me to put a flat pack together). At this time every year, my own creative elf emerges from within. Once, you may have found me at the end of the day planted on the couch watching a mundane TV show or Christmas movie. I’ve no time for such things now. The elves have overtaken my mind and my life. I’m busy creating weird and wonderful elf props and sceneries.

Just last year, for example, I created a detailed series of Harry Potter sets. Now to be clear, this was a challenge as I haven’t actually watched the movies, nor read the books!  Yes, sometimes I get a little out of my depth. What can I say? I’m committed to the cause. Google became my best friend. With lots of hard work, I managed to recreate Platform 5 ¾ (I think that’s what it’s called), the dining hall, a double story library (books and all), with an architecturally designed wooden staircase. And finally, I created a scene depicting a game that involves flying on broomsticks and some ball that has little wings and flies (can’t remember what it’s called). And the best part? They were my ideas, and they turned out well and realistically in an elf kind of way.

So, what am I working on for this year’s family elf spectacular? I can reveal that those lucky little elves will enjoy the comfort of a brand new elf home, built by me, plus a cute little treehouse with a ladder that I sincerely hope will stay in our Christmas tree!  There might be a rather large structure made out of cups and who knows what ridiculous household items might get wrapped up like a Christmas present. Yes, sometimes I may get a tad more excited than my children. I aim for maximum reaction, no matter what. The more extreme, the better, that’s how the elves and I roll, we’re a team, and we bring smiles to faces of unsuspecting children. Now, where did I put that elf toilet paper?

It’s true, as each year Christmas approaches, I feel like running the other way. The task is demanding, hence my hesitation to commit once again. By Christmas morning, I will be exhausted. The little elves take a lot out of me BUT, they are worth it when I see the laughter and joy on the faces of my own two little human elves. 2020 will be no exception (and now I’ve hurt my back, making the task more challenging). The effort is totally worthwhile, to give my children, and whoever else enjoys seeing the elves’ daily adventures, something to feel good about in a world that has gone a little crazy. Bring on 2021 and hope for a better year.



1 Comment

  1. Julie Johnson  —  2 December 2020 at 12:40 am

    Whatever makes you feel happy Sam and you sound like you are becoming creatively inspired and pleased with that outcome. Don’t blame your Mum for anything really, she loves you and has been a big support to you. I recognise that her problems with mental health have not been conducive to your up bringing but she is a wonderful loving Mum. You are sounding far more positive and your pics have been fabulous, let’s all just have a great Christmas, you never know when it will be the last with all your family around you, lets cherish the moments. No one knows what the future holds for any of us !!!! Let the elves wreck havoc and may we love our time together x


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